Talk openly about suicide*

We live in a diverse world where connectivity has always been a possibility because of awareness. This awareness has led to inventions, creations and breakthroughs, like the internet, social media, Wi-Fi and so on.

Awareness, of anything that involves life and well-being, can inspire and motivate one to become an activist or an advocate, a humanitarian or a Good Samaritan. Out of it, there's information dissemination. There's spreading and sharing of useful, vital and valuable information locally, nationally and internationally.

With awareness, there's hope and optimism that we can save a life. We can change the world because of our commitment to spread and share a useful, powerful message or information that will transform one's being to do good and become better.

At this time, I'd like to share with you useful information, from my reading and research, that focuses on suicide prevention and intervention.

September is designated as National Suicide Prevention Month to create and promote awareness, to strengthen the fight against suicide and to create change for a better life.

Suicide is a conscious and deliberate ending of one's own life. Individuals who commit suicide often experience mental illness and personal issues for which suicide is seen as the best or, sometimes, the only solution.

It is the 10th-leading cause of death in American. About 126 veterans kill themselves each week. Veterans who are between 20 and 24 years old and those over 65 are in the most suicide-vulnerable categories. The Coast Guard, Navy and Air Force have the lowest suicide rates while the Marine Corps and Army have the highest. Since 2004, deployment stress has dramatically increased military suicide rates.

Significant disruptions to family life and relationships, possibly resulting from multiple and prolonged deployments, may have contributed to the increase of suicide among military members.

Recognizing signs and symptoms of a suicidal crisis and then taking actions to get help is a lifesaver.

Overt or obvious clues to look for include making a direct statement threatening suicide, making funeral arrangements, describing suicide plans, feeling as if life is meaningless, expressing frequent feelings of sadness and despair, obtaining means of suicide such as a weapon, increased substance abuse and increased risk-taking.

Other, less obvious signs a person may need help include loss of logical thinking, excessive spending, feelings pf loneliness and rejection, withdrawal from friends and family, underperforming at work, giving away important possessions, describing "practice" suicides to friends, subtle changes in personality, bringing up the topic of death frequently, difficulties in making everyday discussions and disturbed sleep.

Some others to look for include rigid thinking, extreme reactions to minor frustrations, diminished problem-solving ability, inability to see alternatives, intensified anxiety and feeling out of space, sad, upset or confused.

You can help your friends and family by knowing the warning signs, talking openly about your concern, asking "Are you thinking of harming or killing yourself?", listening, encouraging the person to accept help, referring to and facilitating professional support, removing means of suicide and not leaving the person alone.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number is 800-273-8255.

-Chris A. Quilpa, a retired U.S. Navy veteran, lives in Suffolk. Email him at chris.a.quilpa@gmail.com.

*Appeared in the Opinion page of the award-winning Suffolk News-Herald, Friday, September 28, 2018. For more information, visit www.suffolknewsherald.org.

Stop prohibited soliciting*

Having transplanted, originally from the Philippines and California, to Virginia, I have been residing in Suffolk for almost two decades.

This piece tackles the issue of a "no solicitation" community. And, whether we like it or not, as law-abiding and peace-loving citizens of our community, we have concerns about and related to it, like housing, people, litter issues; crime prevention and community rules or regulations.

Solicitation has different connotation to different people. It depends on who you ask. It can be construed as prostitution, an act of selling or peddling goods, or services, from door to door, or asking someone or a group of people for a moment of their time to listen to a thought or idea.

This "no solicitation" sign printed above the name of our community, prominently displayed in bold letters and placed at the entrance of our non-gated community, apparently has been ignored by people who "visit" our place.

I don't want to use the word "trespass" because, if I do, I would be engaging in legal matters that may seem to be criminal in nature. I'm not a lawyer, though I'm a law-abiding U.S. naturalized citizen, trying to share my thoughts and ideas that positively try to enlighten fellow residents and people of different backgrounds. To be safe, I'd rather use the verb "visit."

Let's be honest, folks. You and I, I'm very sure, have experienced, not only once or twice but several times, dealing with unwanted, annoying "strangers" or salespeople going around the neighborhood, ringing your door bells or knocking at your doors soliciting, leaving restaurant or business flyers at your door or inserting at your mailboxes.

At times, there are well-dressed persons who equip themselves with a Bible and other printed religious matters, walking around from house to house trying to engage in nice talks, which eventually lead to discussions about their faith or beliefs.

Consider that we have residents who work at night and sleep during the day. They don't want to to be disturbed with constant ringing of the door bells or knocking at the door by unwanted strangers. What about this situation: a new mother who's trying to get some sleep or nursing her newborn and there outside, in front of her house, a "solicitor" is knocking at her door or ringing the door bell for a couple of times, trying to sell something?

I understand we have rights, such as free speech, freedom of religion and choice. We also have responsibilities towards our fellow citizens. We have to understand and respect the right of others to live free to enjoy quiet life, free from unnecessary solicitation of any kind that poses a threat to their health, well-being and safety.

There are communities, such as ours, that have home owners' association with rules or regulations that each homeowner-resident is required to abide by or follow. We have local city codes and ordinances that every resident ought to adhere to.

We have local and state law enforcement officers who make sure our country is one of the best places to enjoy life and retire with family and friends. They do their best to keep our community safe, peaceful and orderly.

But what about federal laws pertaining to the issue of no solicitation or no trespassing? We know that Supreme Court has upheld the right to free speech, which allowe3d salespeople to sell and religious groups to spread their message.

We have "No Solicitation" sign posted in front of houses, too, like the one that always calls my attention each morning my dog Simba and I go out and walk around the neighborhood. The sign reads: NO SOLICITATION. No knocking on the door. No weird ringing of the door bell."

The question now is: (How) can we minimize or stop solicitation in our communities, especially in the homeowners' association communities that have a "no solicitation" policy?

-Chris A. Quilpa, a retired U.S. Navy veteran, lives in Suffolk. Email him at chris.a.quilpa@gmail.com

*Appeared in the Opinion page of the award-winning Suffolk News-Herald, September 15-16, 2018. For more information, visit www.suffolknewsherald.org.

A new school year starts again*

As summer is winding down, school starts with mixed feelings of excitement, enthusiasm, anticipation, anxiety, and hope for all concerned.

Students, teachers, school administrators, staff, and volunteers are back to school.

Ladies and gentlemen, lend me your ears! Do not disturb, please! No loitering and littering! No talking, unless you are given the opportunity to talk and to ask relevant questions! Such is a daily classroom routine in which time (and classroom) management is of the essence for teachers/educators.

Whether you're a teacher or student, school is one place to acquire knowledge, skills and experiences, and to make (new) friends who will soon become a part of your life.

For school year 2018-2019, school is definitely back in business. Like it or not, it's again the season of teaching and learning, with teachers and students who are two of the most important ingredients in education. Without one or the other, there's no education.

As an advocate of education, I feel optimistic that the sacrifices of our teachers and students, school administrators and staff, and volunteers, will yield productive and positive results: successful scholastic performance, high graduation rates, students receiving awards for their scholastic achievements, or promotion to the next grade level, or graduation and gainful employment, pursuing higher education, or joining in the military.

Teachers and school administrators and staff are honored and recognized for their professionalism, public service, leadership, competence and excellence in education and instruction, or administration. On the other hand, proud parents have reasons to celebrate for their sacrifices (financial and all-out support) for their students.

Speaking of the education profession, I have high regard for our teachers. In spite of their meager or limited salary, they work beyond the confines of their classroom doing what they love and is expected of them. Even if the bell has rung for the last period, they go the extra mile to help students learn and succeed.

They bring home school work and other stuff and continue to work on them 'til midnight.

They prepare, implement or execute daily lesson plans that are in accord with school curriculum. They deal with and manage students with varied issues, concerns and problems. They demand discipline, high standards and expectations from their students. If a number of their students didn't do well in exams or tests, they feel sad, disappointed or frustrated. How did I know about all of these scenarios and sentiments? I used to be a Communication Arts-English teacher/college instructor back in the days in the Philippines, from 1977 to 1983.

All of us were once or still are a student, and continue to be as long as we live and love learning. Undergoing many changes and challenges, and overcoming them, we have had fears and insecurities. At times, we failed to go to school because of financial constraints, unfinished homework or project, or unprepared for an exam because of work and overwhelming subjects to review and study.

But, with diligence, determination and passion for learning, we finished one grade level to another until we graduated, and continued to pursue higher education while working.

With all the inspiration and motivation I have had, I have been gainfully employed and adventurously traveled abroad, and then joined in and retired from the U.S. Navy, after 20 years of honorable service.

By the way, my wife Freny, a veteran Chemistry teacher for years, is ever ready to welcome everyone, new and old students and teachers, in her school. Determined to help parents and collaborate with fellow teachers and school administrators to accomplish goals, she's ready to teach and inspire her students to excel and succeed. She can't wait to execute her lesson plans, engaging with her students with interesting topics in Chemistry. Of course, she expects them all to pass their Virginia state-wide Standards of Learning exams and her class, and ultimately graduate.

 Welcome back to school, teachers and students! God bless you.

-Chris A. Quilpa, a retired U.S. Navy veteran, lives in Suffolk. Email him at chris.a.quilpa@gmail.com.

*Appeared in the Opinion page of the award-winning Suffolk News-Herald, Tuesday, September 4, 2018. For more information, visit www.suffolknewsherald.org.