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Thursday, November 23, 2017

So many reasons to be thankful*

It's Thanksgiving Day again, a good time to be grateful for being alive and together with family and friends sharing faith, freedom, love, joy, peace, unity and bountiful blessings from God.

I have so much to be thankful for. To God and His only son, Jesus Christ, I give thanks.

I give thanks for my deceased parents and grandparents, and parents-in-law for their love and sacrifices.

I am grateful for my family members and friends, near and far, for their continued love, care and support. Thanks to my former teachers and co-workers and to those educators (especially to my wife Freny, son Andrew and daughter, school counselor Christine) who are inspiring our students to acquire good education and have a brighter future.

I thank Robbie, my son-in-law and loving husband of daughter Christine, for being a part of our family. I thank Charles and Libby, Robbie's parents, for their friendship and love, and for all the fond memories we have shared together with Robbie and Christine.

I thank the farmers for their bountiful harvest, along with all (multi-diverse) professionals for helping make our nation great. I appreciate the government officials and employees and private employees, as well, for all that they do to make America a better place to live.

I appreciate the Suffolk News-Herald and its staff, especially Res Spears for his insights and professional expertise. I wish him all the best in his future endeavors and pray that God will bless him and his family always. And I wish incoming editor Tracy Agnew the best in her new position. Thanks, likewise, to all of our readers.

During my first Thanksgiving in the United States more than three decades ago, I was blessed to have my sister Betty and her retired U.S. Navy veteran husband Dennis to help me find my way.

Until that Thanksgiving Day in California, 34 years ago, I had never seen such a huge turkey!

I am thankful for sister Betty and brother-in-law Dennis, to whom my family will be forever grateful for their love and care, kindness, understanding and generosity.

As an older sibling who filled in the roles of being a mom and a big sister, Betty did an amazing job of helping us, her younger siblings, get settled here. She made sure we were taken care of until we were able to stand on our own feet.

Likewise, I am grateful for my 92-year old Aunt Emiliana in California, my late father's only sister. Strong and determined, she can still manage to drive alone to visit my sisters and relatives in San Jose.

On behalf of my family and friends, I thank our police officers for making our community safe and orderly. To our city officials and employees, and all of our military veterans (active, retired, injured and fallen), thank you for your service and professionalism.

[To my social media friends, thank you. And, finally, I thank Simba, my two-year old Chorkie (Chihuahua-Yorkie mixed breed dog), for keeping me company at home. Thank you, little buddy.]

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! God bless us always, and God bless America!

-Chris A. Quilpa, a retired U.S. Navy veteran, lives in Suffolk. Email him at chris.a.quilpa@gmail.com.

*Appeared in the Opinion page of the award-winning Suffolk News-Herald, Thursday, November 23, 2017. For more information, visit www.suffolknewsherald.com.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Still honoring the sanctity of marriage*

Former president George W. Bush once said, "No matter what else I do, asking Laura to marry me was the best decision of my life." He and former First Lady have been married since 1977.

Family sociologist Linda J. Waite and journalist Maggie Gallagher, in their book, The Case for Marriage, have researched and found out that married people "live longer, have better health, earn more money, accumulate more wealth, feel more fulfillment in their lives, enjoy more satisfying sexual relationships, and have happier and more successful children than those who remain single, cohabit, or get divorced."

A stable marriage may be your most important asset when it comes to building wealth or avoiding poverty, they wrote.

"When people marry, they are immediately better off, because they now have a claim on not only their own, but their spouse's future income. Over time the advantages of marriage increase as couples benefit from higher earnings created by specialization, lifestyle that encourages savings, the help of a partner in restraining impulse spending and the reduced costs sharing a life permits."

Marriage preserves life and the human race, as a whole. It also protects health. Research has shown that married people are healthier mentally, and happier emotionally than single and divorced.

Yes, marriage matters. It still matters to all married couples, like me and my wife Freny, who celebrated our 32nd anniversary on Friday, Nov. 3.

With two young adult children, Andrew (an IT instructor based in Washington, DC) and Christine (a school counselor married to my son-in-law Robbie, an IT network coordinator/administrator), we're doing well, trying to enjoy life every day.

Thank God, we have come this far, amidst the challenges in our marriage. Yes, we have weathered storms, fought and won battles and overcome difficulties and problems that only strengthened our relationship.

Our marriage is not perfect , but it is strong, because we have vowed to stay and pray together, and love each other.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage. since the day I married Freny, I have tried to live it, in sickness or in health, and I will continue to uphold it for the rest of my life.

I'm aware the above statement has been said or written by many around the world. But it has also been laughed at or brushed aside too many times.

Sanctity is the condition of holiness or sacredness; the state of being holy, sacred or saintly. Sanctity is synonymous with holiness.

The sanctity of marriage has been threatened by those who question its relevance today.

Marriage involves a serious commitment of two people loving and caring for each other and committed to live their lives together forever.

In Genesis 2:24, we read, "therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The thought comes up again in Matthew 19:6, '...so they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.'

Dennis Rainey, author and host of FamilyLife Today, once wrote that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man, one woman and their God for a lifetime. "It is a public vow of how you will relate to your spouse as you form a new family unit."

Rainey suggested four commitments to help you fulfill your marriage vows for a lifetime:

1) Do not get married unless your plan to keep your vows.
2) Fulfill your vows by staying married.
3) Fulfill your vows by maintaining emotional and moral fidelity.
4) Fulfill your vows by praying faithfully with your spouse.

There's no such thing as perfect marriage. Marriage works when spouses work together to make it work.

To my loving wife Freny and me, Happy 32nd anniversary! May God bless us and our family always.

-Chris A. Quilpa, a retired U.S. Navy veteran, lives in Suffolk. Email him at chris.a.quilpa@gmail.com.

*Appeared in the Opinion page of the award-winning Suffolk News-Herald, Sunday, November 5, 2017. For more information, visit www.suffolknewsherald.com.