I'm okay, I would safely say. Living in/with pain, I'm hanging in there, thankful to be alive. Like everyone else, my life has its ups and downs. With bad back or chronic lower back pain, and fibromyalgia that's forever bothering (or pestering) me, it's difficult to keep life on the balance, at times. But what can I do but accept the fact that I'm physically disabled. (At times, my mind is affected, despite my struggle to keep myself sane and sensible.) Yes, I just live now, this very moment. It's what matters to me---this present moment.
A few hours ago, this morning, while using the restroom in our bedroom, I've prayed the Holy Rosary. I've prayed for others, too, especially for our sick, wounded, ill, injured all over the world, myself included, that we get well and recover soon again. I prayed for the safety and well-being of all our troops, travelers/commuters, and our missionaries, our pastors/priests, sister/nuns, and seminarians all over the world, including the intentions of our current pontiff, Pope Benedict XVI. I prayed for all of our beloved dead loved ones, all victims of different wars, the Holocaust, victims of gun violence, AIDS, abortion, poverty, injustice, protests and/o or uprisings/revolutions, and fatal accidents and diseases; and also victims of calamities (man-made or natural). I felt a little relief after my prayer and singing songs of praise and worship. Yes, I listened to my songs (of Christmas) that I've taped or recorded on my old (Panasonic) cassette player early December 2012. I continued recording my singing of church songs of praise and worship on the other side of the blank cassette. This is a relief for me, trying to cope with my medical/physical problem/s. I tried to enjoy the moment, via my singing and capturing it on my cassette player. Thank you, gracious God, for the opportunity to pray, praise, sing and thank you for all of your blessings to me, to us all.
After my singing "performance" and recording "session", my wife phoned me from her school-work to ask me how am I doing. I said, I'm doing okay, still in our bedroom, haven't been downstairs yet to have breakfast. (I did eat a few pieces of Ritz crackers, though, afterwards.) She told me she's going to have her lunch since it's break time for her. That's a brief conversation, almost routine for us, especially during lunch time.
While still in our bedroom, I happened to browse a couple of my old copies of "Bannawag," an Ilokano magazine for all Ilokanos (natives of northern Philippines and/or people who communicate with Ilokano language.) Browsing their pages, I felt nostalgia, homesick. Yes, my dear folks and friends, I thought of my birthplace and my younger days while (living) there. You see, it's comforting (but at the same time disheartening) to reminisce the years with your native land. I thought of scribbling something---an Ilokano poem.
Downstairs, I found myself walking through our eat-in kitchen and then to a restroom next to it because I have the urge to to use it again, even if I already had my regular routine in our restroom upstairs by our bedroom. There, I scribbled these (poetic) lines in Ilokano...
Idi, Ita, Iti Agnanayon: Ilokanoak
Saanko a nalipatan...
Saanko a nalipatan ti nakayanakak
ti lugar a dimmakkelak
ken ti umuna a pagsasaok.
daytoy ti maibagak:
Saankonto mapukaw 'toy kinataok
ken daytoy lengguahek
ta naibinggasen iti amin a parte ti bagik
pati 'toy panunutko, riknak, ken pusok.
Daytoy ti pudno:
Kailiwko dagiti makmakan ken masida
iti Amianan a naggapuak.
Adda latta iti panunotko ken riknak
dagiti nabati a kakabsat ken kakaanakak.
Kailiwko pay dagiti gagayyem ken kaarrubak
ken ti Bannawag a magusgustuak
a paglinglingayak ken pakaadalak
adu nga impormasion maipanggep ti biag.
Kailiwko ti linnangen-langen ken panagkakaarruba
panagpipinnadigo ken panagtatagnawa
a saan a makita-marikna iti sabali a daga
a nakaisadsadan 'toy maysa a pinarsua
Ilokano a nanumo dayta.
Saanko a nalipatan ti kina-Ilokanok
ta ammok-nalaingak pay laeng nga agsao
ken agbasa ken agsurat iti Ilokano.
Uray pumusayakton, ikuykuyugkonto
ti kina-Ilokanok a pudno.
Diakto ibain a maysaak nga Ilokano
iti aramid, sao, ken panagpuspuso.
(c) 2013 by Chris A. Quilpa
Well, this is all for now, my dear folks and friends. Until next time around. Take care and have a nice day, everyone! Enjoy, have fun but be safe! As always, I pray, "May God bless us all!"-chris a. quilpa, 21February2013